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Post by jaibird on Sept 6, 2014 17:03:24 GMT -7
So, I don't know what I'm doing here. Just trying to find a safe zone, I guess. I've been cutting since I was 13. It started small and just sorta became a habit. An addiction. I'm 22 now, and I've been clean for two months straight. But it's incredibly hard. When I'm stressed I claw my wrist, if I try to cut my nails I bite. I've gotten tattoos in the past to help with the itch, but lately it's so hard. Between trying to finish my degree and getting a promotion, I'm overly stressed. And I miss it. So now I'm drinking every night, and taking sleeping pills. I see a therapist, but nothing helps. I don't know. I just needed to vent.
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Post by Angel on Sept 24, 2014 1:01:34 GMT -7
Completely understandable - and as stupid as it is to say it, it's worth being said sometimes; it gets easier the longer the time goes. I got really lucky when I went clean and I am so grateful that things lined up for me the way they did. That doesn't mean I still don't get flashes or triggers, and every once in a while I end up in that headspace even three years later. But it will get easier. It will be exhausting, but it will be so worth it. Proud of you for hanging in there and giving it a try. One thing my therapist said that has always stuck with me is "I believe people do the very best they can with what they have right now." And sometimes maybe that means getting shitfaced instead of cutting yourself. It's not healthy, of course not, but it's in the right direction, and that makes it progress, and that makes it GOOD.
I know this reply is a little late coming, and I'm definitely curious to see how things are going for you now. Hang in there!
Love,
Angel
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