Post by Angel on Sept 30, 2013 10:36:13 GMT -7
Here, I am compiling a list of things you should know if you have a loved one, friend, family member, or just know someone who is dealing with something very big. As people help me, I will flush out this list so keep checking back. Have a question? Start a new thread on this board. Have something to add to this list? Start a new thread, post it on this board.
1) The very first thing you should know is what this person is going through is very, very real. Do not think that they are faking it, trying to get attention, or something else. It is a very real situation, and they deserve total respect and understanding and unconditional love to get through it.
2) Whether it's an eating disorder, cutting, depression, suicidal tendencies, or anything else, do NOT tell someone to "Just Stop." People who struggle don't just decide that they like it and want to do it, it's an addiction. For some of us, it's a way of living. It's a way of coping with something that would otherwise kill us.
3) Listen. Most of us just want to be heard. We come from backgrounds where no one listened to us, no one hears us, and we feel like no one cares. Just listen to us. Don't tell us what you think we should or should do, just listen. Maybe we'll start to talk again.
4) Love us. We want to be accepted and loved, not judged.
5) It's okay to be scared. You're seeing someone you care about go through something you find terrifying. That's okay. Don't hover. Hovering can make some of us anxious, and we might be more likely to hide it.
6) Be calm. Some of us are triggered when other people react. Some of us may feel guilty, some angry. Just stay calm.
7) If this is a condition that has been going on for a while - don't take it personally that we didn't tell you about it right as it started. For some of us, it happened very gradually. Sometimes we didn't even notice we had a problem - we may still not think we do or at least want to admit it yet. Don't feel bad, or feel like you've done something wrong if you weren't told right away. Your guilt can trigger us - which in turn will just reinforce to us that we shouldn't talk about it and we should hide it. Please just be grateful that you know about it now, and not worry about how long you didn't know about it before now.
--Will add more with time. Please start a thread with your thoughts! I only can speak from my own experience, and I want to speak for all of us. So please, start a thread with your own thoughts on what you'd want your parents, family, friends, whoever to know about you so that it would be easier to talk to them about your situation.
Love,
Angel
1) The very first thing you should know is what this person is going through is very, very real. Do not think that they are faking it, trying to get attention, or something else. It is a very real situation, and they deserve total respect and understanding and unconditional love to get through it.
2) Whether it's an eating disorder, cutting, depression, suicidal tendencies, or anything else, do NOT tell someone to "Just Stop." People who struggle don't just decide that they like it and want to do it, it's an addiction. For some of us, it's a way of living. It's a way of coping with something that would otherwise kill us.
3) Listen. Most of us just want to be heard. We come from backgrounds where no one listened to us, no one hears us, and we feel like no one cares. Just listen to us. Don't tell us what you think we should or should do, just listen. Maybe we'll start to talk again.
4) Love us. We want to be accepted and loved, not judged.
5) It's okay to be scared. You're seeing someone you care about go through something you find terrifying. That's okay. Don't hover. Hovering can make some of us anxious, and we might be more likely to hide it.
6) Be calm. Some of us are triggered when other people react. Some of us may feel guilty, some angry. Just stay calm.
7) If this is a condition that has been going on for a while - don't take it personally that we didn't tell you about it right as it started. For some of us, it happened very gradually. Sometimes we didn't even notice we had a problem - we may still not think we do or at least want to admit it yet. Don't feel bad, or feel like you've done something wrong if you weren't told right away. Your guilt can trigger us - which in turn will just reinforce to us that we shouldn't talk about it and we should hide it. Please just be grateful that you know about it now, and not worry about how long you didn't know about it before now.
--Will add more with time. Please start a thread with your thoughts! I only can speak from my own experience, and I want to speak for all of us. So please, start a thread with your own thoughts on what you'd want your parents, family, friends, whoever to know about you so that it would be easier to talk to them about your situation.
Love,
Angel
