Post by Angel on Sept 23, 2013 16:00:56 GMT -7
One of the things I want to stress is that I am not a trained practitioner. I have never been to medical school, I don't have any training in counseling or psychology. I've been there, though. I used to self harm for a few years, and managed to get out of the pit of darkness I was in. And now I want to help you do the same.
I cannot say enough how amazing going to therapy has been. I struggled for a bit to find a therapist that I liked, the one I ended up liking (and still continue to see every week) was the fourth that I tried. It has been the best decision I've ever made, and has really ensured that I don't relapse.
Starting into therapy is scary. You may or may not share one or more of the thoughts I had when I started, and I'd like to answer all those thoughts now. (Please feel free to reply with any thoughts you may have!)
"I don't need to go, I can handle this myself." You can't. You're here because you're struggling. And that's okay. Whatever it is you're struggling with, self harm, EDs, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, bipolar disorder... anything - it's a disorder for a reason. There is something very wrong with us, and THAT'S OKAY. Sometimes it's bad stuff in the past. Sometimes it's bullying. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sometimes it's something else. That's okay. It's okay to have stuff wrong. Sometimes we don't even know what the stuff is that's wrong. But a therapist can help us figure it out. A therapist will help. A good therapist will help us start to get stronger. And we really do need help. Think of it this way: If you break your foot, you don't keep walking on it and just say it's fine. You go get a brace or a cast for it. (Well, some of us walk on broken bones (guilty!!), but the point is you SHOULDN'T. lol.)
"I just __(insert struggle here)___ a little. I'm sure someone else could use the time more than I could/someone else is worse off than me." Not true. We need that time just as much as anyone else. Even general practitioners see people when they are totally healthy just to do a physical check-up. Why not see a mental healthcare doctor when we do feel a little bad?
"I don't deserve it." The fact that you're here and you're struggling ALONE means you deserve it. In the emergency room, doctors do a triage - they look at whichever patient comes in is in the most dire need of medical care and attend to them first. Often times in a mental healthcare facility you can meet with someone and go through triage to determine how much help someone needs. We need it, and the fact that we've been suffering and enduring for so long - it's our time. It's our due. WE DESERVE THIS.
"I don't know how to find a therapist." This one is trickier, especially for minors. For people who are of age, check with your insurance, see if they cover mental healthcare. If they do, they may give you a list of therapists who are covered by your insurance. Call, see if you can speak to the therapist to see if you can get an idea for if you'll like them. Be strong, be diligent. It took me four therapists to find the one I've had for years now. I almost didn't try again after the third, and I'm SO glad I did. It's worth it. Don't have insurance? Hit up Google for a list of low-income or free clinics in your region or province. (Feel free to share the links too, some people might be looking for the same information. Are you a minor? It's a little trickier, especially if you don't want your parents involved. Try talking to your school counselor first, see if they have any resources for you.
"I don't want my parents to know." This is hard. I didn't want mine to know - they didn't understand what was going on. Worse, they felt guilty, thinking they had done something wrong. Guilt was one of my triggers, so having a discussion with a weeping, self-blaming mother was actually quite awful and really snowballed the situation - AND I had the talk with her AFTER I was clean and it was still hard. Sometimes parents can be really understanding, sometimes they won't. Just remember: They're scared. They love you, and they just learned that you're in danger. I know it doesn't seem like it, but in their mind, they're worried they could lose you any moment. They might overreact, try and be over protective, try and rush you off to the doctor. The important thing is to be firm. Try and be clear. Explain how their reaction makes you feel. Say "I know you're doing this because you care, but I need you to do _____ instead." "Instead of freaking out and _________, stay calm. I'm fine, I'm right here, I need your help, but I need you to help me my way, not yours." Be direct. Be clear. They should understand.
Any other thoughts about therapy, treatment, parents or something? Post below, discuss. I strongly encourage seeking professional treatment. You DO deserve it. It CAN help you. Just imagine - what would it feel like... to feel happy..? What if someone could actually make that a reality for you? (They can.) Feel free to send me a PM if you'd rather talk about your situation in private. I'd be happy to share.
Love,
Angel
I cannot say enough how amazing going to therapy has been. I struggled for a bit to find a therapist that I liked, the one I ended up liking (and still continue to see every week) was the fourth that I tried. It has been the best decision I've ever made, and has really ensured that I don't relapse.
Starting into therapy is scary. You may or may not share one or more of the thoughts I had when I started, and I'd like to answer all those thoughts now. (Please feel free to reply with any thoughts you may have!)
"I don't need to go, I can handle this myself." You can't. You're here because you're struggling. And that's okay. Whatever it is you're struggling with, self harm, EDs, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, bipolar disorder... anything - it's a disorder for a reason. There is something very wrong with us, and THAT'S OKAY. Sometimes it's bad stuff in the past. Sometimes it's bullying. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Sometimes it's something else. That's okay. It's okay to have stuff wrong. Sometimes we don't even know what the stuff is that's wrong. But a therapist can help us figure it out. A therapist will help. A good therapist will help us start to get stronger. And we really do need help. Think of it this way: If you break your foot, you don't keep walking on it and just say it's fine. You go get a brace or a cast for it. (Well, some of us walk on broken bones (guilty!!), but the point is you SHOULDN'T. lol.)
"I just __(insert struggle here)___ a little. I'm sure someone else could use the time more than I could/someone else is worse off than me." Not true. We need that time just as much as anyone else. Even general practitioners see people when they are totally healthy just to do a physical check-up. Why not see a mental healthcare doctor when we do feel a little bad?
"I don't deserve it." The fact that you're here and you're struggling ALONE means you deserve it. In the emergency room, doctors do a triage - they look at whichever patient comes in is in the most dire need of medical care and attend to them first. Often times in a mental healthcare facility you can meet with someone and go through triage to determine how much help someone needs. We need it, and the fact that we've been suffering and enduring for so long - it's our time. It's our due. WE DESERVE THIS.
"I don't know how to find a therapist." This one is trickier, especially for minors. For people who are of age, check with your insurance, see if they cover mental healthcare. If they do, they may give you a list of therapists who are covered by your insurance. Call, see if you can speak to the therapist to see if you can get an idea for if you'll like them. Be strong, be diligent. It took me four therapists to find the one I've had for years now. I almost didn't try again after the third, and I'm SO glad I did. It's worth it. Don't have insurance? Hit up Google for a list of low-income or free clinics in your region or province. (Feel free to share the links too, some people might be looking for the same information. Are you a minor? It's a little trickier, especially if you don't want your parents involved. Try talking to your school counselor first, see if they have any resources for you.
"I don't want my parents to know." This is hard. I didn't want mine to know - they didn't understand what was going on. Worse, they felt guilty, thinking they had done something wrong. Guilt was one of my triggers, so having a discussion with a weeping, self-blaming mother was actually quite awful and really snowballed the situation - AND I had the talk with her AFTER I was clean and it was still hard. Sometimes parents can be really understanding, sometimes they won't. Just remember: They're scared. They love you, and they just learned that you're in danger. I know it doesn't seem like it, but in their mind, they're worried they could lose you any moment. They might overreact, try and be over protective, try and rush you off to the doctor. The important thing is to be firm. Try and be clear. Explain how their reaction makes you feel. Say "I know you're doing this because you care, but I need you to do _____ instead." "Instead of freaking out and _________, stay calm. I'm fine, I'm right here, I need your help, but I need you to help me my way, not yours." Be direct. Be clear. They should understand.
Any other thoughts about therapy, treatment, parents or something? Post below, discuss. I strongly encourage seeking professional treatment. You DO deserve it. It CAN help you. Just imagine - what would it feel like... to feel happy..? What if someone could actually make that a reality for you? (They can.) Feel free to send me a PM if you'd rather talk about your situation in private. I'd be happy to share.
Love,
Angel
